Never mind the Warhols

Purple people

By our ephemeral correspondent Delbo

15 minutes of fame is too much for ’em. These people in the public eye who are famous for nothing at all. They have no talent, no skill, no charm but they are celebrities.

If you had a Delete key, who would you say had outstayed their welcome in the Celebrity Hall of Fame? Who would you dump in the Wells of Oblivion?

Published in: on August 1, 2011 at 10:38 am  Comments (68)  

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  1. There are long-standing broadcasters who should never have been such. I cite Joan Bakewell, David Frost & Robert Peston.
    The ephemeral ones are hard to name because they appear on the covers of celeb magazines that only deeply disturbed and unhappy women read. They’re always known by a single name. You see that Suzi wants to get back with Jason, or that Trish has an explosive secret. Collette has got her pre-baby shape back. Mimi & Jake had a secret wedding ceremony in Mustique.
    I don’t know what all that crap is really about, or why it seems so sad, but the ones who last longer than 15 minutes are the worst, so I say, let Jordan do an Amy & do us all a favour.

  2. Yes, yes, yes

    • Welcome Maggie, looks like Mark hit the spot

      • Puts me in mind of the movie “When Marky Met Maggie”, the restaurant scene where the dame on the other table says “I’ll have what she’s having” πŸ™„

  3. I’ve never heard of Mark’s famous guys, maybe they’re just celebs on his isle of muck? Just like I could list Dutch dudes but nobody will know them. So I say lets limit this to yankes we all know & I’m going for Tom Cruise πŸ˜† plastic man or what??

  4. Justin Bieber 😈
    There’s no point whatsoever in this boy πŸ‘Ώ

  5. The Kardashians, Paris Hilton, all those moronic, boring rich kids who are famous for being moronic, boring rich kids. And as for those sex tapes, its almost enough to put you off the carnal act. Have you seen Paris Hilton with her red eye sex tape? Horrid! My thesis is they corrected it for red eye and she still came out with evil demon eyes!

    • Red eye sex? Sounds like whisky’s involved, which is usually a good thing. Never saw Paris Hilton at it though. She looks too thin for real action.
      Just checked the TV listings. Tonight on ITV3, Elton John talks to Piers Moron about his fascinating life. Just how missable can a show be?

      • I too have seen these Kardashians crowding the web. There’s an indeterminate number of them but one of them has an arse beloved by the paparazzi. Surely that’s enough for fame?

        Paris Hilton is actually a fading hotel often mistaken for a porn starlet. Red eye correctional surgery rapidly remedies this common error.

    • Hey Lunchman! You got a link to this “tapes” of yours? Man’s gotta make up his own mind, stands to reason.

    • after which she invented the iPhone & enthroned the Dalai Lama

  6. That Norway loon, Britvik

  7. Clear the floor, turn this up, enjoy.

  8. New Order is dead. Long live New Order.

    • Fusty old git. Its topical & fun isn’t it.

      • Well said, Boxo. Trust the Minger to remind us of the Mancunian miserablists when a good-time vid link is posted. Fusty old git, indeed. Must remember that one.

      • If precedent is our guide, we have to consider that the old New Order and the even older New Order (aka Joy Division) were nominally informed by Nazi intonations. Therefore it may not be unexpected if a hypothetical new New Order did not likewise embrace such contentious tropes. It boots us not to speculate on a precise potential outcome and yet I suspect we need not be overly surprised by such an eventuality.

      • A Certain Ratio, Bauhaus, Spandau Ballet, some twisted schtick there. New Order had one half-decent song & they re-mix it every year. Not to be mistaken for Karl Bartos, genuine giant of electro-pop.

  9. And Joy Division were crap.

    • i always enjoyed “Giggs will tear you apart, again”

      • That’s a perennial favourite. Last season to savour it.

      • Hate to say it, but Nani’s looking well tasty. King Kenny’s going to have his work cut out stopping No. 20.

      • Fabregas & Nasri look like they’ll leave the Emirates. If Whinger wasn’t Whinger, I’d feel sorry for him. But he is, so I don’t. Ha!

  10. Champ19ns. Everyone says we’re going to walk it but this is just journalistic ‘build ’em up, knock ’em down’ story-building for when the inevitable wobbles strike. But I must say that Nani, the young lads & the new signings do look sharp & hungry, & we sure showed the noisy neighbours. (Free Tevez, buy now)

  11. Did you see that bloke had trouble with his cake??? What a laugh!!!

    • You may mock. But other folks have had trouble with their buns.

      • Thanks for eclairing that up.

      • its big-tarted of you

      • Saw him on Flanorama

      • Oooops!! I’m on the wrong site, thought it was the cookery blug!!! 😳

      • That explains the jarring non sequitur.
        You won’t find the Minger on a cookery blug any time soon.

      • 1. Take an egg
        2. Crack on head.
        3. Apply to face

  12. I am unconvinced by the squamous neologism ‘blug’. I think we can rule out keyboard operator error – on a qwerty board O is 2 stages removed from U, making ‘blig’ or ‘blpg’more indicative of such symptomatic tendency. So ‘blug’ carries apparent purposive intentionality; yet we need not be seduced. I find myself inclined to the view that it shall not capture the imagination and thus wither into decrepitude. Only time will tell.

    • “Blug” is a portmanteau word, assembled from “web” and “lug”, the latter being a mass of tangled and matted hair. The invention of Maggie’s neologism is tantamount to linguistic teratogenesis, the fruit of which has almost no viability in the noosphere. So, I agree with GB. “Blug” is doomed.

      • Blig? What’s not to like? 8)

      • Blug is actually the funicular railway from Bad Gottingen to Pantzen Uberschmitzer. It gained fame in the movie Sherlock Holmes and German Engineering, winner of the trompe l’oeil at Cannes. 1987 I think but might be wrong. The railway is now a Unesco site of special scientific heritage, which means nobody can actually use it any more, and leading to the abandonment of Pantzen. How very sad.

      • For a first-hand account of the abandonment of Pantzen, see Ming, E., 1983.

      • See also “Margeritas aint free Buster. Where’s ma goddam blug?” by Jacques Repomanski

      • Darn tootin’. Any varmint sets his sights on my blug gonna get the ol’ Milwaukee Shuffle. In spades.

  13. Where’s that confounded goat?

  14. Right. You’ve got hundreds of thousands of hysterical beardy blokes, ranting on about their god & burning flags, wearing combat pants & naff replica soccer shirts. Where do they get their armoury? I mean, you just don’t find AK47s & pick-ups mounted with anti-aircraft artillery lying around in such numbers, do you?

    • Excitable cove, Johnny Towel-Head.

  15. They lose all their dignity when they don those naff replica soccer shirts.

    • Looks like they looted the same stores as their inspirations, the Poms.

      • Imagine if the Brit rioters had heavy arms…….

        “Ere, which end ov vis does the bizness?” “Dunno innit”

  16. Lost. 1 Gaddafi son. Please return to beardy blokes asap. Reward in paradise.

  17. They sure are excitable – imagine what they’d be like if they weren’t fasting.

  18. Where’s that confounded coat?

    • Errr…. Have you tried the coat rack?

  19. Weird soccer scores in the EPL right now.

    • Yeah, Liverpool won

      • I would 8 2 be an arsenal fan today

  20. Why is it I all the time really feel like you do?

    • The drinker I get, the goat gets the blooter.

      • Snat. Snattety snattety snat.

      • Goat? What goat?

  21. Snatetty snattety snat snat snat
    Taken me a whiles, but I’m finally getting me tap-dance lessons likes I always wanted. Aint as easy as it looks, thats for sure, & I’m even worse than clod-hoofin’Thais, which is sayin’ a lot. Still, its gotta be done.

    • Surely, this is why the Good Lord gave us You Tube

      • Lost another drunken bet Jacko? “If I aint right on this I swear I’ll take up tap dancing….”

  22. Hot darn, how you figure that out?

  23. Drinking tea has been unfashionable for a long time, but now it’s making a monster comeback

  24. Not one to talk out of school but had a surprise visit from Ming & the Empress at the bar. Boy is he frail & emaciated, even turned down a free beer!

    • That wasn’t the Minger.

      • Yes it was, fiddling with his iPhone & struggling with an Irish Coffee. Not right.

      • No, ‘t ain’t right.

      • Nothing wrong with Irish Coffeee. Gets you thru the 3a.m. wall & sees you right on thru till dawn

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