I blame the parents

By (sensibly-named) Boxo.

Just watched Wimbledon, in particular a player called Mardy Fish. I mean, what kind of a name is that? Maybe the father was ‘a boy named Sue’ fan & wanted to make his son tough.

As stupid names go, can anyone beat this? Usual point to the winner.

Published in: on July 12, 2011 at 9:12 am  Comments (49)  

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49 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Mardy fared better than his brothers Wet and Sel.

  2. Harper Seven.

  3. I recently dealt with a student who rejoiced in the name Khaled Meow. It was inappropriate given that the average cat has greater academic ability than Khaled.

  4. Lets set a few ground rules here. Americans & their names should be disqualified automatically as no other country has such stupid names. As evidence I point out that they have Presidential candidates called Mitt Romney & Newt Gingrich.

    • I’m convinced. OK, no Americans, and no students either as they rarely know what their names actually are. Probably best to exclude Thai nicknames too as that’s just a deep well of total daftness.

  5. Is a man sporting the name Ewan allowed to set rules on this matter? Seems like a conflict of interest to me!

    • Not Ewan Uzarmi?

  6. Hippies. Hippies should go too, or we’d all go for Zappa’s kids.

  7. Although Moon Unit is a top name for a space cadet.

    • Dweezil see about that.

  8. What’s got his goat?

  9. If you’re giving US citizens the bums rush you can’t have Mardy Fish, numbnuts. I’m here to say we don’t start putting up fences & let any folks be included, even hippies.

  10. Sly Stallone’s offspring: Sage Moonblood. Sage, yes, but…
    Sarah Palin’s: Track. Shoulda been Whyter Shader.
    There’s one called Audio Science too, child of some actress. That one I like.
    Carol didn’t bring up the topic of children for years, because I’d expressed a liking for Andreas & Ulrike, or Hawkwind & Galadriel. I’d have settled for Tetley though.

  11. What could possibly be wrong with Tetley as a child’s name? Although my own preference would be Theakston’s Old Peculiar.

  12. Those polish names with all those ZZZZZZs!! Always made me giggle 😉

  13. went to school with Linguini Maximillian Teapot Inca Hattersley

    • People laughed at his name, so he changed it to Alberto Balsam.

  14. Once knew a kraut called Justin Kais, pronounced ‘just in case’. Typically, there’s no joke in krautish.

    • There was a chap who played for Spurs, called Justin Edinburgh.

  15. ‘Arry Redknapp.
    I rest my case.

  16. Pippa Middleton – its impossible to say it without thinking ‘Arse’

  17. Beyonce – sounds like something on a bungee jump.

  18. Ozzy Ozborne sounds very amusingly rude in Japanese slang (but then he’s very amusingly rude in English too! 😉 )

  19. Actually, ‘Ming’ causes a few smirks in Swedish, but I’ve always been too polite to say!

    • It’s time to let you guys in on an in-joke. By calling him the Minger, I’m using a Scottish word for someone or something that’s ugly or of very poor quality. You might have a car that’s a minger, or have a mingin’ day at the office, & so on. He only has himself to blame.

      • In Dutch its a strong smell, with female and/or fishy overtones. An ‘Emperor’ ming must be truly staggering!

      • my kinda whiff lol

      • all rather titular rather than factular imho

      • That’s right, the Mascara Snake.

      • Jeez Louise, that takes me back. Bulbous also tapered, right?

        Did you see Wild Man Fisher just died?

      • Man, that’s so heavy.

      • Crenellations

  20. Here’s what gets my goat right now. A smackhead pisspot predictably kills herself and the whole world gets hysterical and rushes out to buy her records & read the acres of newsprint in the tabloids.

    A Brit hero is killed in Afghanistan serving his country. Do you know his name? Do you care? Where’s the facebook/twitter page?

    • Way to go Boxo! Its always us grunts who get forgot when we did more than some C-list singer with big wongas and a busted septum.

  21. RIP Cpl Mark Palin, 1st Battalion of Rifles. There’s a wee facebook status profile the noo.

    • Palin? Any relation to another rifles enthusiast?

  22. Tyson Fury, full name Luke Tyson Fury, is the British & Commonwealth heavyweight boxing champion. Here he is in action.

    • Gotta hit somebody, & if you can’t hit the other guy….

      • Interesting ruse. Opponent gapes in amazement at your crapness, then you hit him. Problem: boxers don’t do amazement. Solution: back to plan A, strike opponent very hard lots of times. Success rate: 50%.

      • well Brian I just ‘it ‘im in the gob & he didn’t like it none so I ‘it ‘im again

  23. Ee, it were funny.

    • Course we ‘ad it ‘ard. We used to live in a cardbord box in t’middle of t’road

      • Luxury.

  24. Of course one expects a certain amount of drift, but it really does exceed expectations within limits. It leaves us bereft of directional purpose and yet immaterially so. It is as if an unspoken consensus concurs – let it be so. In which case, this is not irrelevant.

    • Welcome Gordon, think you’ll fit right in

      • Of course he will. One size fits all & the ties are round the back.

  25. Many years ago I told my father that Fatima Whitbread had won some javelin event. He had trouble believing that such a name could exist. Fatima is so Arab, and Whitbread English, that he couldn’t get his head around it. Americans must grow up with a different view.

    • You’re forgetting Osama Bin Tetley, the legendary clean & jerk lifter

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