Gael Cliche

It’s linguistic correctness gone mad! It’s Delbo.

Somebody somewhere coins a catchy phrase and next thing you know it’s all over the web. Or its gone viral through YouTube or cable TV. Everybody down the pub is using it and it makes me heave. I’m glad the football season is over so I won’t have to hear ‘park the bus’ (they have a good defence) until August.

Or when some filmic autobore … Hang on, filmic??? This abomination means ‘it’s to do with films’. Where was I? Ah yes. Or when some filmic (spit) autobore says a film ‘pays tribute to bla bla’ all he means is that bla bla has been shamelessly plagiarised as the script-writers wouldn’t know a fresh idea if it crashed their iPad. Post-ironic (grrrr) my arse, they’re just clueless copyists.

Cliches, that’s what we’re on about here. They’ve got to be severely limited in their useage with severe mediaeval penalties falling on persistent abusers. Take the chronically overused suffix -gate. Watergate OK, that’s the origin. But in the last week I’ve endured Blattergate, Clegggate, Obamagate, Pippagate, and the simply inexcusable Giggsgate. (Surely that’s an alleyway in York?)

Due warning. This is going to get bloody folks.

What I’m asking for is your top 3 worst cliches. I want to see flesh creep and bilious eruptions here. You can cherry pick the low-hanging fruit  and move forward to claim the point. Yes, that’s right, it’s a point-tastic bonanza here at Minggate but remember folks, it all goes to charidee.

Published in: on June 27, 2011 at 8:02 am  Comments (77)  

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  1. Off the top of my head…
    1. “I gave it 110%”
    2. “I’ve taken that on board”
    3. ” (Something) – its the future” Or “Its not the future” is probably even worse.

  2. We’re (1) passionate about this (2) in terms of where we hope to be (3) going forward.

    (1) Tony Blair was passionate about everything & Brit politicians still think it’s a good thing to claim.
    (2) “In terms of” may be the most corrosive stain on modern English, giving talking heads a way out of constructing a sentence for the benefit of the listener. “We did well in terms of goals.” “How do you feel, in terms of what happened today?” Meaningless, lazy, & rightfully punishable by great violence.
    (3) This is now tagged on to the utterances of every self-important lard-assed politico, Civil Servant or paid bletherer for no reason at all. Better not say it to my face, is all I’m sayin.

    Almost made the top 3: “You’ll see everything from badminton to weightlifting.” What the £_^& is in that range? Construct a sentence, or shut the £_^& up, £_^&face.

  3. Elephant in the room – what’s the matter with these people?
    Game-changer – into what? Fish?
    Epic fail – just horrible, makes a man reach for his gun.

  4. I think you’ve all gone off on one, you must be having your period. After all, its only a laugh innit! See what I did there!

  5. Celebrating diversity (disabled lesbian talk)
    In any way shape or form (plumbers & mechanics talk)
    A big ask. (just rubbish)

    • Po-faced gomps who talk about celebrating diversity won’t be celebrating anything. They are pathologically averse to fun and no-one would invite them to a party anyway.

  6. IMO, IMHO etc – of course its your opinion! Who else?
    Arguably, as in “Arguably the best McDonalds on Gromp Street”
    It’s in his/her/their DNA. No. It isn’t.

  7. Some wicked stuff ‘ere, innit?

    • In any way shape or form – irritates me in ways I’d rather not go into. All right, it reminds me of C-C-C-Colin. Pointless air abuse.
      This Fail/Epic Fail thing seems to be for Americans so we can leave them to it. Its very ugly.
      In terms of – I hadn’t noticed this & wish I still hadn’t. But I intend to use it in every communique with Mark. Well, he started it.

  8. They say ‘Let’s be clear’ then they aren’t!! 😦

  9. My English teacher expressed some mild irritation with “at this moment in time”. He felt this was a redundant synonym for “Now” and should be avoided to prevent giving undue offence and make the speaker appear stupid. It is a mystery to me why this obtuse phrase endures to this day. Perhaps a Native speaker can cast light on this?

    • Pomposity.

      • Only pompous in terms of gravity. Actually it carries more than ‘Now’ – it hints that in the future things may be otherwise e.g. “At this moment in time we may feel irritation in terms of predictable threat fulfillment but tomorrow we’ll be bored with it”

  10. Its politicians isnt it.
    1. A good election to lose.
    2. In many ways it was a victory for us.
    3. The fact/truth of the matter is … (then lies, opinion, bollox)

    • “In many ways”. That’s a good ‘un. The reporter should insist that the speaker list them. This sort of drivelling must be dealt with.

  11. A basket of… currencies? No, $hite
    A package of…. ditto
    A raft of… oof! pow! thwack!

    • Agreed. Especially them rafts. Give ’em another thwack from me.

  12. Its as bad as I feared. That ‘give it 110-10,000%’ is gross, as is ‘celebrating diversity’ – it just drips twattist Trackfinderism. Like Mingo I hadn’t spotted ‘in terms of’ before but I sure do now. BBC World news today had a Greek politico talking about ‘austerity in terms of money’, combining gibberish crap with high-level offence. As Boxo points out, politicians have not lost the art of doublespeak. Defeat is Victory. War is Peace. 1984 revisited. There’s more to come, we’ve not heard from the Trout, the Pig or Wilma. Let’s try & up this.

  13. Since Bin Laden got raptured anyone taking a large dump is “conducting a dignified burial at sea” while “hiding in plain view”. Nobody ever did this before but now they’re all at it. Credit cards (and only credit cards) are now all “maxxed out” until further notice. Strange times.

    • Thats the winner or I’m a Canuck. Done just about splurted all my coffee all over the screen. Takes a Yankee to coin a caption like that. OK, I’m off for a DBAS 10-4.

  14. Get out of your comfort zone & move the goalposts on a level playing field.

  15. “As guid may haud the stirrup as he that loups on.”
    Ah’ll say nae mair the noo.

    • Call off the Sweaties, Mark. Or give subtitles.

      • Aye, we’re a’ scunnert wi’ the heid-the-baw the whiles.

      • Can’t say fairer than that.

  16. Community
    If it involves foreigners/immigrants it must be Vibrant Community (gag)
    Raising awareness = indoctrination

    • Spot on. Then there’s the “Community Leaders”, who should, without exception or delay, be shot.

      • Ever notice how nobody actually elects these so-called ‘community leaders’? Kill them!

  17. Just got an off-the-scale reading on my hackleometer with ‘we need as much help as we can get’. What, anything at all? Are these people so genuinely pathetic that they can’t do anything for themselves? Only vast inert lard-based cretins would use such a phrase (with a useless grin) as they expect others to empty their gigantic groaning bowels for them. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.

    • Grrrrr. Anything with ‘help out’ sends me over the edge. It means give skint pisspots a tab to keep on boozing ‘until they get sorted’ which in most cases never happens. Occupational hazard of bar owners.

      • “A friend in need is a friend in debt
        I don’t wanna be nice”

  18. X-Ray panda clears things up

    • It must be frustrating for parodists.

      • “Hi Darling, how was your day at work?”
        Guess the answer 😉

      • “Would you like a biscuit?”
        And the answer is…

  19. Raising an Independence Day margerita to all Goatees!

    • Santé!

  20. 1. Exponential, exponentially meaning a lot
    2. Quantum leap, except to mean a very small change of fixed magnitude
    3. Paradigms, especially when they Shift.

  21. Sea change.
    Spiralling out of control.
    “Incredibly” for every adverb and adjective; never “very” or something descriptive.

    • Yeah, Sea Change really sucks, makes me think of the movie Sea Biscuit 😦

      • Sea Biscuit is awesome!

    • I can live with Sea Biscuit. Not going to war over it though.

  22. All failed reality show contestants who’ve “been on a journey”. (from twat to shite)

    All reality show contestants who “are part of this process” (that turns them into processed mush)

    All reality show contestants who are “on a learning curve” (while giving it 200% pushing the envelope & breaking the boundaries & zzzzzz)

    These avatar clones should all be killed horribly and deleted from memory

  23. At first it was gruesome. But then it gruesome more.

  24. Devastated. They’re all devastated. Bereaved, disappointed, shocked, nonplussed, angry, they’re all f^*£in’ devastated. Post office closes: devastated. Acting role comes to an end: devastated. Court case goes off the rails: devastated. Some inconvenience intrudes in your ridiculous life: devastated. F^*£in’ devastated. Don’t let anyone say it to you twice.

    • Ddin’t this originally mean ‘lay waste to’, to utterly destroy? Seems a little melodramatic if so.

  25. “You can’t underestimate…”
    They’re speaking of something important to them, but describing it as something that cannot be UNDER estimated. Moronic. Totally moronic.
    It’s floccipaucinihilipilification, by the way. But mostly moronic.

    • Of course they meant ‘misunderestimate’ (Pres G.W.Bush)!

  26. “But in the real world”….
    What other world is there?

    • Ask the Minger if you have time on your hands. He’s read Castaneda.

      • The real world is all there is. What matters is the extent of our ability to filter it away.

      • Maan, that’s some far-out heavy shit you’re layin’ on us. Guess I’ll have to get filterin’ real hard.

  27. “These pictures are graphic”.
    Show me one that ain’t, doofus.

  28. Where’s that confounded goat?

    • Where’s that confunded point?!?!?

  29. The colour Purple. First its Brown with his purple ties, now cloned by all politicos, especially Milliband Minor, even Cameron. Now the Death Ray Panda even seems to insist on being interviewed with purple background to set off his purple tie. Its evil & unnatural. I blame Maya Angelou & the artist formerly known as Prince.

  30. “After”.
    Brit journos are so wary of linking cause & effect, lest it leads to litigation, that they have found yet another way to talk crap.
    A woman was injured “after” a crash. Talk about a bad day. A man was left shocked “after” an assault. How about “by”? United went four points clear after winning today. How long after?

    An aside. Today the radio 4 presenter invited the pundit to explain, IN LAYMAN’S TERMS, how joining the Euro at the wrong rate can adversely affect a country. The pundit started with, “It can lock them into a playing field…” To his great credit, the presenter cut him off.

    The subject was in hiding today, amid calls for his resignation. Bet he wasn’t. The Chancellor stood firm, amid rising criticism. It’s another vague lump of journalese, throwing a chosen context in the face of the viewer in the sure knowledge that it will stick, the viewer’s critical faculties having been flattened before the round began. Amid new fears on the safety of nuclear energy… Thus, propaganda. Gimme that flame thrower, I’m gonna be busy.

  31. ‘Braced’ Be honest now, have you ever found yourself braced as a precursor to the unexpected?

    • I too hate ‘braced’. But you’re usually braced against the known unknowns (in a Rumsfeldian sense) otherwise you wouldn’t have time to brace, would you? 🙄

  32. J’aime vraiment votre article. J’ai essaye de trouver de nombreux en ligne et trouver le v?tre pour être la meilleure de toutes.

    Mon francais n’est pas tres bon, je suis de l’Allemagne.

    Mon blog:
    credit rapide ou courtier Rachat De Credit

    • Qui est le kraut imaginaire?

      • Ptui! Ce n’est pas un kraut. C’est un spammaire prolifique! Jettez au bin de recyclement rapidement!

      • Mais il dit qu’il travaille a wikipedia! Zut alor! C’est une mystere et pas d’erreur. La plume de ma tante est beaucoup flummoxe!

      • Bloody forriners.

      • send em back

  33. Mock-xenophobic japes, I fear. Yet couched within a veneer of acceptability that hints at moral venality. Of course we may not get that far but vigilance may be advisory.

  34. community = looting thiefing blacks

    • Vast sense of entitlement, minimal willingness to work for it. Zero respect for authority, huge inclination for feral rampage. They know they won’t be punished. They’ll keep their loot & terrorise decent folk at will.

      • Sounds like school.

  35. Notice how the kids in court are mostly white? & how the folks who stand up & defend their community are mostly ‘immigrant’? & how the hand-wringing “somebody gotta do sumfin” brigade are all white? Just making a point.

    • Duly noticed.

  36. As a military man it gets my goat that they cut us rotten then expect us to sort it out. Yeah right, then set the lawyers on us if some little lammikin stubs his toe getting chucked in the chokey. Besides you cant have it both ways. They want us to crack some heads but its not our jobs, or they want to conscript the hoodies but who can discipline this mob? When I look at this mess from overseas it makes me weep for my country but now I think of it its just the English isnt it, not us Celts.

    • Aye, thon sassenachs aye kickfeisty and looterin’ their ane but & ben. Send ’em homeward, tae think again.

  37. Seems to this fusty old git that the key issue is responsibility. Who is responsible for law & order? Who is responsible for the behaviour of young kids? Who is responsible for an entitlement culture that preaches we can all have it all, & deserve it without effort? Who is responsible for what looks like total moral collapse?

    When the answer to these questions is “Somebody else” (the state, the cops, the politicos, the teachers, religions, Capricornians) then we reach a point where all responsiblity is abjured and all thats’ left is whingeing. We bleat about our rights, yes, but lets now hear it for our responsibilities, switch off the telly, get off our arses and make a difference in putting things right.

  38. We sleepwalked to a point where we thought the state should/could do everything. It shouldn’t. It can’t. Santa Claus really doesn’t exist, kids! If you want to play with the grownups you got to pay the entry tab.

    Parents are the worst – abdicated all responsibity for their ghastly broods of giro generators to teachers, socail worker, outreach workers, police, whoever.

  39. As Boxo will know, when a man’s on point & under fire he’s gotta shoot. Thats when them goddam penpushers down City Hall starts a-howlin’ & a-blubberin’ about collateral damage. Well, ways I see it, if theys in the line of fire theys guilty as all hell & gets what they deserves. What else they doing there- looking for jaybirds & noting them in their dixie book? Hell no. You liberals got all fired up & ornery over Gitmo – how about now Buster? Wouldn’t you just love some little hidey-hole to spirit away these homeboys and teach ’em some Godfearin’ respect & if they don’t come back then hey – don’t matter none.

  40. Lost. Desert island. Drop ’em off & ‘Lord of the Flies” takes over. Sorted.

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