To remove all doubt, this post may or may not be written by Emperor Ming, but you are not entitled to pass an opinion nor are you permitted to consider other options.

Being insofar as the plaintiff XXXXXXXX does hereby exercise all liens and rights to XXXXXXXX  Giggs and XXXXXXXX Pippa Middleton‘s arse. XXXXXXXXX and XXXXXXX Cheryl Cole‘ accent may not be counterindicated and XXXXXXXXXX Donald Trump‘s hair. It may ipso facto  XXXXXX prerogative of the rich and XXXXXX totally Clegged.

XXXXXXXXXXXX nullifying Barcelona midfield threat and XXXXXXXX Adele XXXX Obama ping pong.  Furthermore XXXXXXXX volcanic eruptions XXXXXXX under Simon Cowell. Andrew Marr XXXXXX and XXXXXX and XXXXXX Beatrice’s hat. Any infringement of such XXXXXX may well result in XXXXX and full-blown Blatter.

This post does not exist and may not be read under any circumstances.

Published in: on May 27, 2011 at 10:32 am  Comments (38)  

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38 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Looks like he’s back on the morpheine.

  2. Repo, I take this as a sign of the Emperor’s recovery. A fine piece of legal Blatter in the tradition of Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne.

    • Whatever flips your weenies, Luncho

  3. This is actually a gravely serious issue. The rich and famous can distort Eurolaw in UK courts to prevent any disclosure of their dodgy dealings. If its celeb caught with her knickers round her ankles who cares? But its also used by politicos and corporations. Its guesstimated that over 1000 of these super injunctions are in force but there is simply no legal way of checking it out. The recent rumpus on Twitter outing the hypocrite Giggs may point to our only way of establishing some small measure of democratic accountability. But even these microbloggers are being threatened by severe legal sanction. Something really stinks when social networking sites are seen as the last bulwark against capricious tyranny.

    • We are the injunctors
      We are the injunctors
      We are the injunctors
      We are the injunctors

      Ja tvoi sluga ja tvoi rabotnik
      Ja tvoi sluga ja tvoi rabotnik

      • Injunct me baby
        Injunct me all night long
        It takes a hard injunctin’ woman for a hard injuctin’ man like me

      • Ya gotta ask yourself one question.
        Do I feel lucky?
        Well do ya Injunct?
        Go ahead Injunct, make my day.

      • As the priest strangled the thrashing Calvinist he muttered the words of the last sacrament – Extreme Injunction.

  4. Repo, leave my weenies alone you horrid man.

    • Very sound advice.

  5. These legalistic instruments have also been deployed by agro-corporations to stifle publicity on GM pollution and carcinogenic cucumbers that (contd p.94)

    • Apart from a few kaput krauts, this e-coli cucumber riff is a right laugh. All meat-eaters will recognise instant karma for the smug veganist health-posers. Lets face it – its only them going to reach for cucumbers.

      • I got totally clobbered by one these mutant superbugs a couple of months ago & it was no laughing matter. Only 1 antibiotic on the planet could deal with it. Soon there’ll be new bugs with no pills & then we’ll be banjaxed.

        Still, krautish veganists eh?

      • Now the boffos reckon its bean sprouts. Tuck in, Truckfender

      • Hair Pie, take care.

  6. My human gets me goat.

    • Gurgles get mine – hippety hop

      • That’s when Big Goat sets up.

      • pippa middleton 4 rear of the year, now thats an arse

      • Carol Vorderman ‘pipped’ her to it – bummer 😦

  7. Please to translate en francais pour les Belgiques

    • Name 5 famous Belgians & OK, the translations a goer

      • Jackie Ickx
        Audrey Hepburn
        Adolphe Sax
        Django Reinhardt

      • Tintin
        Hertz Van Rentalz

  8. I’m ashamed to say I can’t think of a single Belgian of note, but I’m fairly sure Jackie Ickx was from Luxembourg.

  9. Darn.

  10. Belgian Choccies!!!! 😉

  11. OK, paintpot?

    • Hell no – there’s Plastic Bertrand, auteur of the Belgo-punk classic Ca Plane Pour Moi

      • Got that fool tune stuck in my head now, thanks Wilma.

        Hercules Poirot? & who could possibly forget President of Europe Herman Von Rumpy-Pumpy?

    • Not Jackie Ickx but Eddie Merckx the bikerist. All them ‘kx’es baffle a man.

  12. That was the latest hit from Freddie & the Drifters, Up the Injunction.

  13. not normlly big on that frog stuff but didnt count ludvig von bakelite invent bakelite & win the nobel wotnot?

  14. A compendium riddled with error, and not one could enlist the required five participants. I stand acquitted.

  15. 1. All Belgians die
    2. Bin Laden is dead
    3. Therefore all Belgians are terrorists

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